


What is Love

by BoovPerson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aromantic Dean Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Fluff, M/M, Slight Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 13:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15510705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoovPerson/pseuds/BoovPerson
Summary: Cas was his best friend but friendship wasn't the only thing Dean felt for him but he would rather die a thousand times again than tell him. Turns out Cas beat him to it and told him first and how could Dean not reciprocate.





	What is Love

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fic written for the [DeanCas Creations Challenge](http://deancascc.tumblr.com) on tumblr

Dean felt calm, the rumble of the Impala almost making him drowsy. Good thing he wasn't behind the wheel, their last hunt had banged him up pretty well. Both Sam and Cas had forbidden him from driving and Dean was tired enough to give up the keys to his Baby. Sam drove them to the motel, Cas sat beside him at shotgun and Dean lying down in the back. The rumble of the Impala was lulling him to sleep and just as he was about to fall asleep it got cut off, rousing him. He grumbled and sat up realising they had reached their motel. Dean got out of Baby and headed directly towards their room, the shitty motel bed like a siren's call to his aching body. He decided the others could handle getting their weapons, which needed cleaning, into the room. He would take care of them tomorrow, for now, he needed rest, he was getting too old for this shit.  
  
Dean didn't realise he had fallen asleep until he woke up feeling uncomfortable and sore and like he'd just been on the wrong end of a landslide. He sat up, slowly and realised his shoes had been removed and a blanket was draped over him. He silently got off the bed and headed towards the bathroom trying not to wake Sam, he couldn't find Cas so he assumed he mojo’d off to do whatever it is that he does when they are asleep.  
  
Dean came out of the bathroom clad in his underwear and a towel around his shoulders. He was almost surprised to see Cas sitting on his bed, his face illuminated by a strip of light coming from a gap in the curtains. Looking at him sitting so still, Dean understood the comparison people make about good looking people looking like Angels, Cas made him feel things he hadn't felt since Lisa. He wasn't in love, he didn't think he was in love with Lisa either, it was something different, just as intense. It wasn't like what he felt for Sam, it wasn't familial but it came close to describing it. It definitely wasn't friendship, that he was sure of. Dean suddenly realised he was staring at Cas who was staring back just as intensely.  
“Hey buddy, where'd you disappear off to?” he asks pulling on a shirt and sitting down facing Cas. “I had gone to take a walk, it is a beautiful night. I walked around the town, I even spoke to this nice old lady who told me all about the town. She was sweet to me” he said his eyes shining with happiness and wonder. It made Dean's heart melt a little and made him love him a little more.  
  
No, he couldn't be thinking these kind of thoughts about his best friend. He had tried it before with Lisa, he wasn't very happy in a romantic relationship, and Lisa wasn't happy when he tried explaining to her that he didn't feel for her the way she felt for him, the look of hurt on her face wasn't something he'd be able to forget. He hadn't meant to hurt her, he had loved her when they were together and he thought that that would have been enough, but the day after they had this talk Lisa had packed up and left for her mother's in Iowa. Dean hadn't been with anyone else since, hadn't felt the love for anyone else since, he had found a bunch of people hot and had even hooked up with them but none of them went beyond one night stands. After Lisa left Dean was afraid to get into any other relationship, even though he'd never admit to it. And the way he was feeling for Cas brought in a whole new level of fear because Cas was important to him, his best friend. Dean couldn't even bear to think of what would happen if he didn't like him back, or worse, if he did and left him when he found out how fucked up Dean was on the inside? They had a chance of recovering their friendship in the former case, but the latter case was what haunted him and kept him from admitting his feelings.  
  
Cas broke the comfortable silence that had settled over them and spoke out like he had read Dean's mind, “What is love?” When he looked back at him perplexed he clarified, “What do you think love is, Dean?” His question was met with a confused silence and Dean cleared his throat trying to formulate a response and as an attempt to break the awkward silence that was beginning to set. “Geez, Cas. I haven't really thought about it” which was definitely a lie, he had thought a whole lot about it, trying to figure out his feelings for Cassie, Lisa and more recently Benny and Cas. He was definitely sexually attracted to all of them and he knew that was called bisexuality, but he never felt the need to do more than cuddle after sex with any of them. “I think love is when you feel at home with someone, when you'd do anything to ensure they're safe and happy. It feels like a hot shower at home after a long and tiring hunt.” Dean was surprised at his honesty, Cas didn't seem to be surprised at all, it seemed like Dean's answer had been the confirmation he had been looking for. Decisively, he said “In that case, I love you Dean.” Dean had almost expected that, but nevertheless it hit him out of left field, there was no time for the shock to set in though because Cas spoke again, “I know you'll never love me in the way I love you. I don't expect you to reciprocate the emotion now or ever. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with how you love, it's perfectly fine and I'm grateful that you would choose to love me so and I don't expect you to be or do anything that you wouldn't want to for me. To my knowledge that's what love is supposed to be. Accepting the person you love in all their glory.” This time Dean was definitely going in shock. He was just gaping at Cas like he'd just grown two more heads. “Cas, buddy, I” he couldn't speak, “I don't know what to say to that. I don't There's something wrong with me, I'd never be able to love you like you deserve, you deserve so much better!” he cried. He was interrupted by Cas’ vehement response, “You're not broken and you definitely deserve this and more. You deserve so much more Dean. And I need you to know that you are not broken and there's nothing wrong with you or the way you love, yes it's different from others but it's not wrong. Loving someone can never be wrong.” Dean was obviously left speechless by that, he wasn't at all used to hearing something like this, especially directed towards him and he hadn't realised how well Cas knew him.  
He had always been better at actions than he was at words, so he leaned over Cas giving him enough space to back out and when he didn't, kissed him. Cas’ response was passionate and full of love. Cas kissing back was the affirmation he needed that all this was real. He pushed them back onto the centre of the bed and peppered his face and neck with kisses before kissing his lips again. Dean put as much love as he could into every single one of those kisses. If he couldn't say it to Cas he would damn well show it.

**Author's Note:**

> Please come talk to me on [Tumblr](https://originalobjecttheorist.tumblr.com)


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